snow

Can you believe it? It snowed...in Jordan.

I woke up this morning all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed ready to go to class(yeah right); opened my window only to find snow-capped trees, snow-covered cars, and inches of slush everywhere I looked. Without my proper winter attire I was a bit disheartened and the age old question popped into my head: to go to school or not to go to school?



As my final is TOMORROW I figured the only responsible decision was to layer up and head out into the winter wonderland. Tom and Luke came downstairs to leave for school suited up in their winter attire as well; Tom wearing a 3JD ($4.20) coat that has a rip in the back of one arm and Luke had plastic bags tied around his shoes. Brilliant.



It was mere minutes until my shoes and socks were soaked. I was convinced that this was the day that I was going to get frostbite and lose my feet. After a good fifteen minutes of trudging up our street in ice cold rivers of water and slush, a cab appeared like a mirage before our eyes. Granted he capitalized on our misfortunes and charged us a whopping 2JD for a normal 80-cent cab ride, but we were more than happy to adhere.



Once at school, I couldn't bare to sit through hours of class with icicles for feet. Thankfully, Sarah (mom) had encouraged me to pack an extra pair of socks in my backpack this morning, "in case your feet get a little wet." I spent the rest of the day a happy little schoolgirl walking around Qasid in just my warm, dry socks.

The snow wouldn't bother me so much if it wasn't so...cold. I know many of you are thinking, "uh heather, duh." Believe me, I grew up in the Midwest so I know what cold and snow is all about. The real problem is the lack of heat and insulation in the apartments here. Even with snow on the ground it might be warmer for me to sleep outside because it's at least 15 degrees colder in my apartment. Most days I sit secluded in my kitchen with the oven open and on, chugging glass after glass of hot tea trying to convince my body that I'm warm. When I'm really desperate, I turn on the hot water and stand there until my toes and fingers thaw.

Word to the wise: If you are ever traveling in Jordan during the winter, pack for all occassions. You never know what you're going to get.

ever the same

today's songs:
Rob Thomas -- Ever the Same
Damien Rice -- The Blower's Daughter

Everyone has been incredibly stressed out here lately. We have our finals next week on top of most everyone finding new housing accommodations or packing to leave for our Christmas break vacations. I made my to-do list today and it's rather long. Study, work, pack, study, work, pack. Repeat.

In an effort to escape all my own stresses, I thought I'd update you all with some recent pictures. Enjoy!




A traditional Jordanian meal that Ayman, pictured above, made for us.




Craig's 22nd birthday party.

thanksgiving

My first Thanksgiving away from home; I had to have a big Thanksgiving dinner for everyone here. Sarah and I decided to have all of our friends over for a big Thanksgiving feast at our place. We, Tom Luke Sarah Ric and I, bought the turkeys and requested that everyone else bring their favorite Thanksgiving side dish. The dinner turned out to be a HUGE success; we had so much food! Everyone was full to the brim after eating, as per usual for a Thanksgiving meal.

On Wednesday, Eric came over and helped clean the turkeys and season them.

Then on Thursday we started the cooking. We were all running around trying to get everything cooked between our ovens, which are really small. It was so fun having the five of us run around trying to get everything cooked. We even had the boys moving around furniture in between our apartments so everyone in attendance could sit at one big table.

Before we ate, everyone went around the table to say what they were thankful for. Most everyone was thankful for the fact that we got to spend this particular holiday together, and for the family we are building here. I am continually feeling that I am truly setting up a life for me here.

Here's a pic of the fab four at Thanksgiving. These boys, Tom and Luke, live right above Sarah and I so we spend a lot of time together. We usually eat dinner with them at least twice a week as well as just hanging out in each other's apartments for at least a few moments every day.

However, I missed being away from home this weekend. I love spending holidays with my family, esp since I barely get to see Josh and Hannah outside of this time of year. Things I would have loved to have been at home for: pumpkin cookies, cutting down the Christmas tree, decorating the Christmas tree, playing endless games of cards, napping, watching the parade or a game of football, playing football, cooking with the fam, seeing a movie Thursday night, etc.

I'm most thankful that Friday morning I woke up to the sound of these wonderful boys cleaning up our mess of a kitchen. Thank goodness, because we all know I didn't want to do it.

haunted mansions

Last night for Halloween a few of us decided that we shouldn't just sit in our apartments, but get out and do something. We set upon meeting up for coffee and shisha (also known as hookah for my American readers). However, Yazan, our Jordanian friend who happened to be driving, had another idea in mind. Soon enough, the other four of us in the car realized we were not heading towards a cafe but rather outside of the city. Yazan then informed us that we were heading to a haunted mansion that lies on the outskirts of Amman.

The story behind said mansion: years ago, Jordan would house their "crazies" in this mansion, an insane asylum. However, one of the crazy people began killing off the other crazy people, and eventually ended up killing everyone. Now it is closed off because it is haunted with all the ghosts of the crazy people, and no one wants to live there or go anywhere near it. Apparently, the occasional drug dealer will house up there and use the mansion as a crack den, so if you go you need to be careful of these drug dealers and the potential for being shot at. Lovely. Where are we going again?

At first Yazan was being rather coy saying he didn't want to go up the driveway, it's too dangerous, scary, etc. However as we were backing up the car to leave he hit this huge rock, and couldn't move the car. Not sure if this was intentional or not at this point. So he had the three other boys with us get out of the car to move the rock. As soon as they got out of the car and moved the rock, he took off up the driveway with just me in tow towards the gothic, haunted mansion. Needless to say, the mansion was quite creepy and definitely looked abandoned. But I'm not sure how scared I was compared to the three boys standing out in the middle of nowhere in Jordan at the bottom of the hill of a haunted mansion. In the car, Yazan and I promptly turned off our cells so they couldn't call us. Good times. It definitely made for a fun Halloween night, better than expected.

Text I recieved while the boys were at the bottom of the hill: You mind calling us? This isn't too funny lol

Once we picked up the boys and they got over their hissyfits of being abandoned in the middle of bufu Jordan, we drove over to the top of the hill where this lookout is. We just stood there and looked over all of Amman, and could even see over to Palestine. It was absolutely gorgeous. Definitely one of those "woah, am I really in Jordan looking over the whole city and onward to Palestine on just another Sunday night?" moments. Couldn't have asked for anything better; I attempted to get a picture but they didn't come out and I'm sure a picture wouldn't have done this view anywhere near justice.

neglect

Pardon my abscence from this blog, I promise I have not been purposefully neglecting it. Things have been so crazy since I arrived in Jordan and I haven't had much time to really quantify my time here just yet. So I am going to try my best to update all of you (mainly my family) about all the initial Jordan ish. To the scarce reader, don't feel in any way obligated to read my quite possibly boring rants about the basics. Away we go...

Jordan is...amazing, for lack of a better word. I have a two-bedroom apartment with my good friend, Sarah. Yes, the one from Morocco. (Sidenote: I never imagined I would be living in Jordan with a friend I met in Morocco. Can you say lifelong friends?) The apartment is so much bigger and nicer than either of us imagined before coming here. We have a living room, dining room, half bath, kitchen, Sarah's bedroom that has a full bath attached, and my room that has a balcony.

Here's one of Sarah in our kitchen.

I have my standard Arabic classes every day from 8-11a, and then on Mondays and Wednesdays I have an afternoon Ammiya (dialect) class from 430-630p. Weekends are Fri-Sat here instead of Sat-Sun, so we have school Sundays through Thursdays. Thus, the TGIT phrase that is currently bombarding my twitter. I have already begun to learn an immense amount of Arabic and I cannot wait for a time when I can say I am fluent. My goal in coming here was to truly learn the language and that is exactly what I intend on doing; it is beyond exciting to say that in just a year I will have hopefully finished the program at Qasid and can uphold a legitimate conversation in Arabic. I also still have my job in the States that I am working for over the internet. So besides class my days are spent studying, working, hanging out with friends, or napping (a lot -- per usual).

The weather here is much like desert weather even though it's not really desert terrain. From when I got here until now it has been about in the 90s everyday but it will get fairly cool at night, usually in the 70s. If it rains (twice since i've been here), the weather will pick up sand/dust. It is super interesting to see a semi-sand storm. The first time it happened Sarah and I did not know to close our windows, and EVERYTHING was covered in dust/sand. Fantastic.

Amman is actually fairly western, more than I was expecting. Everyone drives/cabs everywhere, there a lot of chain stores, huge malls, living accomodations are mainly what you would consider western, etc. However, once you get outside of the capital city is where you really see the culture and a more stereotypical Arab country. As a woman, there are still quite a few restrictions: it is considered forward to talk to an Arab man or to even ride in the front of a cab. So much of my time is spent allowing my male friends to speak for me or give a cabbie directions, unless I am alone. Clothing is also moderate; I wouldn't wear anything shorter than something that covers my knees, and a tshirt that covers my shoulders/upper arms. Most days I wear a sweater over a tank despite the weather being incredibly hot.

Eric, Nadja and I walking in Amman. Photocredit: Sarah.

The best part of Amman so far is definitely the people I have met. I have made some truly great friendships and have met really amazing people. It is so interesting to learn about all the different walks of life people are coming from and why we all chose to study Arabic. There are people from all over the world: London, Switzerland, Sweden, Australia, etc.

The people I have met here are the reason I had such a good birthday. It was my first time to celebrate my birthday outside of the States, but because of them I can honestly say that I didn't necessarily feel like I was missing out on anything. On thursday (2days before my actual birthday), a bunch of us went out for drinks and dancing. It was ridiculous to say the least, but lots of fun! Then on Friday Nadja, Eric, Sarah and I went to the Dead Sea to relax and get some time in the sun. It was ridiculously amazing to get out of Amman for the first time for a day and to just relax with good friends on the beach. On Saturday Sarah took me out for a really nice brunch, I spent the afternoon napping and watching a movie, and then some of us went to dinner for my birthday. It was so nice to be surrounded by people I may have just met but can truly call genuine friends. They even brought a cake to the restaurant and sang to me =)

Sarah, Nadja and I at the Dead Sea.

Ok, I think that is all I have for you now. I promise to try and update more often so as to not get so far behind.

leaving on a jet plane

Seriously. I'm at JFK just waiting for Sarah to get here. I still can't believe that I'm moving to Jordan; it's all starting to feel so real. Up until now I hadn't really digested the fact that in a mere day I will be living in Jordan for an undefined period of time. Alas, here I go! Thankfully the Stephen Speaks song, "leaving song" (shoutout Nirk) just came on my sweet aeropuerto mix to make everything seem that much more real. It's quintessential times like these when I know that my life is so blessed. How many people can say that they have moved to another country to learn another language? I cannot be happier, cannot wait for Sarah to arrive, and cannot wait to start this adventure in Jordan.

labor day

Another overly nostalgic post, brace yourselves...

I had a quintessential labor day weekend. Friday I got off work two hours early, which doesn't seem like much but it sure felt like a lot. In the two hours I would've been working I went for a run, showered, napped, and watched an hour of tv. Whew, so productive. That night Jen and I were both feeling blah, so we decided not to go out and went to the movies in our sweats instead.

Saturday was laid-back perfection. I was walking through the park in the morning, wrapped in a hoodie because of the chilliness, and someone had "Chicken fried" playing loudly. Mmm. Recap: boys basketball tournament, sand volleyball, 7-11, nap, Tuscany, sardines, song-making and mafia.

Then on Sunday Diane and I went up to Wrigleyville to meet Jenny and Eric after the Cubs game. We went to Full Schilling and drank a few beers, ate popcorn and hot dogs, and met a few new friends, Sammy and Mikey. Yes, they were italian. They were hilarious, to say the least. Mikey kept trying to convince me that I had fallen in love with him because of his "baby blues." Which I must admit were hypnotizing, but I didn't tell him that. Finally Eric and Jenny met up with us, but our fun was cut a little short because of someone's inebriation. (Not our own). So we came home, took naps, ate dinner, and caught up with one another. At the ripe time of 1130, we headed over to Morgans for some drinks. Fun to say the least. However, the best part about this day was the 2hr vent sesh from 2a to 4a. Venting is good for the soul.

Monday morning we all peeled ourselves out of bed to eat a glorious pizza lunch at Piece. Go there if you've never been. After lunch, Erica and I went to the park to meet up with ME friends for their potluck. We didn't eat as we were filled to the brim with yummy pizza. We did partake in the kickball game. A third-grader, Nkaya, from the park came to play with us. She was on my team, and during the whole game kept calling me "Mommy".... simmer on that one for a while.

This was one packed weekend but, alas!, it was not over. Colin invited me over because he was grilling food and watching the Bachelor Pad with Jen. So I sauntered over to have some yummy brats and grilled green beans. Thanks Dad.

I think I may have some of the most amazing friends. I have two days left in the city and I still can't imagine saying goodbye to all of these people. One reason this weekend was so great was because I got to see so many of my close friends. If you are one of my Chicagoan friends, do not be alarmed if I burst into tears randomly over the next two days. It's just because I love you.

By the way, if you ever need a good Pandora station when you're pensive try "Sweet Disposition" by The Temper Trap.

it is finally here

No, I'm not talking about a package or a date. I'm talking about the season that is fall; by far the best season of all. Not only does it include my birthday, but it includes beautiful colors, leaves falling, Halloween, Thanksgiving, football, bonfires, comfortably clothed people, and the list could go on.

Fall is so much more than just a season. Fall inspires me, makes me feel like anything is possible. This morning when I left my apartment, I expected another hot day and to be immediately sweaty when leaving the air conditioning. But no! Mother Nature had a present waiting for me this morning. A beautifully chilly morning that made me want to grab coffee, a book and lay blissfully in the park. Aaaah, fall -- you are my one true love.

Goodbye hot, sweaty, naked summer. Hello cool, comfortable, beautiful fall!! Glad you're here.

o'ryan

I am currently 1 of four roomates; me, Jen, Janie, and O'Ryan. Ryan is hands down the biggest, most beautiful, and bizarre cat I have ever met. He is seriously weird.

Every morning he comes and snuggles with me right before I have to get up. This morning I woke up and somehow he had found his way under my covers and was licking my leg. Why? No idea. I proceeded to pick him up and rub his belly. He laid on his back with all four paws in the air like an upside down armadillo. He looked so uncomfortable but was purring incessantly.

On more than one occasion, I will get out of the shower and find his two front paws under the bathroom door. When I open the door, he is sprawled out on his stomach. Then he will look up at me with a look of utter stupidity, "Heather why in the world would you open that door?" Ryan will then strut away like the divo he is.

16 days, 71 hours

While using my time ever-so-wisely at work, I just calculated that in the past 16 days I have driven 71 hours and put 3,000+ miles on my car. Whew! That is just too much. I have looped the midwest more in 2 weeks than I ever really care to. Tennessee, Illinois, Texas, Kansas, Arkansas, Indiana, Missouri...

I'm so drained from constantly being in the good ol' Honda. I am in desperate need of at least 14 hours of sleep at one time and a hiatus from being in my car.

Unfortunately, on Friday I have to hop in my car for another 2-3 hours and head home for the weekend. I'm kind of dreading it. Wish I had someone to magically chauffeur me home. Or if I could be like I Dream of Jeannie for just one weekend, shake my nose and be wherever I want to be. That would be great.

tk*

Last week (right after the weddings), me along with 4 good friends from college went on a roadtrip circling our homes.

First, we went to my house. Mom made us some amazing food: chicken fried steak, green bean casserole (my fav!), rolls, cookies, and a bunch of other yummy stuff that I can't really remember. Then, Mike, Diane, Erica, Han and I piled into my stepdads truck and headed over to the drive-in. We saw The Other Guys. If you haven't seen it, DON'T. It was truly awful. Worst movie I've seen in a long time. After the movie we went back to my Dad's house, watched friends, played ping-pong, and eventually went to sleep.

The next morning we woke up bright and early, 6:30amish, so we could hit the road. We were moving onward to Mike's house in Texas, so we had a 13-14hr drive ahead of us. Texas was fun and very laidback: movies, sleeping, laying out, lots of food, Chick-Fil-A, book shopping, dessert. The best part of Texas was definitely playing lots of games at ChuckECheese for free! We won about 1500 tickets. I think I have missed my calling in life.

Next, Kansas. Kansas was my favorite part of the trip! Not only do I love Nirk's life in Kansas, but it reminded me of the simple summers that I used to spend in Mahomet. It reminded me so much of Mahomet summers when I was younger, that it made me almost want to cry. My friends and I can't enjoy these summers in the same way anymore since we're all grown-up. But being in Kansas definitely took me back.

Kansas highlights: spaghetti pie, Phoebe and Nelly, Phil and Robbie, trampolines, salt water pools, boating, tubing, church mafia meetings, QuickTrips, California girl dancing, pingpong, bowling, and so much more. In case you were wondering, yes, I was named MVP tuber of the day on the lake.

Being out on the lake was probably the best day. I didn't want to get off the tube. It was just too much fun. Nirk almost tried to kill Phil, Mike, and Robbie while they were on the tube, but as his first mate I stand by the fact that we were only going 20-25ish. They were just being babies. Nirk, Robbie and I were on the tube at one point; Nirk and I were dying of laughter and Robbie yelling, "I want off!! Get me off this tube!!" Too funny.

The roadtrip home was just as fun. We listened through all of my 9 TK mixes, changed California to Illinois, danced a lot esp. the pizza dance, scream/sang to almost every song, and just had lots of fun. Nirk and I had to keep singing over Erica, she has such an awful voice. I mean, really. (In case you don't know Erica, she has a gorgeous voice. Nirk and I were mainly being obnoxious by singing really loud over her with our not-as-good voices.)

Few of my fav quotes:
"Is Texas in the south?" - Erica
"Ask your doctor!" - Diane
"This reminds me of the traveling pants." - Diane

*tk stands for Texas/Kansas, not Tom Kirk.

the weddings

All of my friends are getting married. This may seem like a drastic statement, but it's not. Out of eight of my closest friends from high school, 3 are now married and 1 is getting married July 30th next summer. Two have serious-ish boyfriends, and then there are the lonely two (Suz and I) who are truly enjoying our early 20's as singles.

On June 26th, Lauren and Grant got married. They've been dating for...forever. Since freshman/sophomore year of HS! They are the definition of high school sweethearts. They're wedding was so amazing; they rode off on a motorcycle. Yes, Lauren jumped onto the back of a motorcycle in 5-6inch heels and her wedding dress. She's great.

The rest of the night was the definition of a wedding party. The open bar had a lot to do with this. I won't go into the graphic details of the night, but I'll give you a highlight list: salmoning, Gough, rumors, cupcakes, and lots of crazy dancing. The best part of the night was definitely surrounding Lauren and doing our "Just a Little Bit" dance from high school. Here's the picture that stemmed from the dance:

Deborah and Aaron's wedding was just as fun, but in a different way. They are such a young Godly couple and their wedding reflected their relationship together and with God perfectly. It was amazing to watch Deborah marry the man that she is truly meant to be with, and knowing that they are starting out on a journey together that is obviously going to honor God in all the ways he intended. Needless to say, I cried a lot at their wedding. Then my eyes started to burn as my makeup poured into my eyes, which led to even more crying.

I don't have a good picture of Deb and Aaron, but here's one of the bests. Its so romantic!

I wish all my married friends the happiest, life-long marriages that they deserve. I wish you all the best and am so happy for you =)

nada

I don't really have much to report on as of now, except that the next few weeks are going to be amazing in the life of Heather. Things I'm looking forward to:

1. Drive-in with my sister tonight
2. Roadtrip with the bests to Nashville
3. Deb's wedding in Nashville on Saturday!
4. Staying in a cabin the entire weekend, aka trashy fun
5. On Monday, leave for a roadtrip with college friends
6. Spending a few days in Texas, then Kansas (hopefully being outside and getting some sun)

For now, I'm just counting the minutes until 3p. I'm at work in my cubicle bouncing off the walls, waiting for all this end-of-summer fun to commence.

double finger rings

My newest obsession is double finger rings. I want one so bad, but my current finances are relentless towards my need for new and pretty things.

the next chapter

Today Brandon (the boy who's moving into my lovely apartment) called today to ask if he could move a few things in early. My official day to be gone is tomorrow, and they're moving everything else in tomorrow. So him and his crazy uncle started moving a few things in: his couch, bed, a table.

But now that they're gone and I'm sitting on a lonely mattress surrounded by other people's stuff, I'm really sad. I can't believe that the time has come for me to move out. Jen and I spent a lot of time in this apartment napping, partying, hanging out, getting frustrated with each other and then making up, turning ourselves into pirates and Sandy, dancing, dressing up as siamese twins, cooking food... And now I'm sitting here all alone knowing that I need to get up, move the rest of my stuff, and clean the apartment up for the last time.

For many of you this post may seem overly dreary, but this is the last college place that I lived in. Once I move out of here, it's official; I am no longer a college student rooming in a quaint apartment with my best friend. In just a day, this won't be my apartment anymore. Soon I will take my last shower, get dressed for the last time here, clean for the last time.

It's sad. I'm sad.

By the way if some of you are thinking, why won't this stupid girl shut up about moving out of her apartment? Its not that big of a deal. Well, this is MY BLOG AND I CAN WRITE WHATEVER I WANT TO.

I just called Jen sobbing my eyes out. Thank God for her and good friends. Tonight we're going to order food and eat a last supper in our apartment. I can't wait!

grandparents

The picture of the two people kissing directly to your right is my grandparents. We call them Oma and Papa, they're German.

The picture was taken August, 1971 in Texas.

It might be my favorite picture of all time. Or at least for right now.

grown up

Being a grown-up is hard sometimes. I have to wake up early for work; I've recently been working 9-5 everyday. I have to make life decisions. I have to pay for my own bills. I have to move out of the apartment that I love. I don't have a tan. I don't nap as much as I used to.

But then, once I come home from work at 5 I have nothing to do! Its so great. I can just watch TV, lay around, clean, hangout with friends, etc. No homework or studying. That's my favorite part.

However, the fact that I'm getting older and won't be attending school in the fall is really starting to hit me hard now that I'm moving out of my apartment. Many of my friends talked about moving home from school and how they were dealing with their feelings, but I couldn't relate at the time. I didn't really deal with all of those post-graduate feelings when I graduated because nothing changed: I remained living in the apartment that I had for all of senior year, I kept working at the same job, and continued hanging out with the same set of friends. Its that strange feeling where I want to be strong per usual, but then deep inside of me there's this inkling to just break down, cry out, and really deal with all my feelings. But I'm not that deal-with-your-feelings-cry-on-a-shoulder type of girl, so I doubt that will happen.

I'm not sure I'm ready to be a grown-up; I'm still a kid. I'm not sure I'm ready to take care of myself for the rest of my life or have a multitude of responsibilities on my shoulders. Well ready or not, here I come!

kids are cute

artsy fartsy

Many times I find myself wishing I was more artistically inclined. To be able to paint or draw is a beautiful thing in this world; to be able to define your inward feelings in a tangible way when words just aren't enough.

I stumbled across this artist during work while trying to find artwork to accompany some of our poetry submissions. Check her out: Angela Davis Fegan.

Here are my favs:
Pair
Brooklyn Dream
Pattern Piece
Untitled

Enjoy!

shwayze

I'm sure many of you don't know who Shwayze is. Songs you may know by him: Corona and Lime, Buzzin, Polaroid. He is amazing; his music makes me want to move to a beach, become a bum, grow some dreads, and smoke weed all the time (even though I don't smoke).

Jen and I love Shwayze. She loves the actual Shwayze (Aaron Smith) and I would die a perfectly happy person if I ever got to meet his musical partner, Cisco Adler. We listen to their music all the time, may or may not have created a youtube girl coverband sensation of them, and saw them perform last October with LMFAO. So, this past Friday Shwayze was performing at Enclave, and we HAD to go. We started out the night at Japonais where some millionaire Welchmen bought us endless strawberry martinis, yum! Then, they wanted to head over to the Viagra Triangle so we split ways: they headed to The Hunt Club and Jen and I jumped a cab to Enclave. Shwayze's performance was amazing, per usual. But after his show is when our night got interesting...

Jen and I immediately ran up and got a picture with him; the only picture his security people allowed him to take before they wisked him away. But before he left, Jen walked alongside him (his arm around her) and asked where he was partying after. He told Jen he was going to go over to Cuvee and that we should come! So we did, duh. We sat with him at his table, drank off his bottle, and danced with him. We thought our night couldn't get any better...UNTIL he invited us back to his hotel room! Yes please. We then proceeded to get into a vancab with him. There were seven of us in this vancab when some crazy lady announced that this was 'HER CAB and we all needed to get the F*** OUT'. Well Shwayze wasn't having that and started to argue with her. Of course, Jen jumped to his rescue and started arguing with her too, announcing that the girl didn't even have designer jeans on. (Who does Jen think she is?!) The lady began to list off every brand name she was wearing, annoying. Finally, her boyfriend pulled her out of the cab but not before she could call the three of us girls, "Walmart bitches."

Eventually we made it back to his hotel, partied until 5am, and finally sauntered home. I think it's safe to say that this night was one of the best nights of me and Jen's lives. It was the epitome of the perfect night for us. Maybe next time he's in town we can do a repeat =)

poetry

I work for a company called Hektoen, an online medical humanities journal. We have recently contacted many people with a call for new and better submissions. As a consequence of this, we have received a flux of poetry in all of our inboxes. So on this Friday afternoon I have spent my time reading a multitude of poems written mostly by doctors; an outlet I think they all need. I have loved so many of them that I can't just keep them to myself. So here are 3 of my favorites:

Balloons, by John Vanek

My son's best friend, six years
in remission
leaves the pre-prom party, comes to me,
puts a hand on my shoulder,
sits, says I look sad.

I tell him I'm fine,
cloak my deceit
in a throaty laugh,
ask why he's not
inside flirting.

Joes just shrugs, as if he has
a lifetime of time, says
he's spreading his wings, soaring
to Florida this fall for college.
His smile warms the cold Ohio spring,

refills my deflating middle age
with the lightness of possibility.
Then he's gone--
back to the party, worrying about
finals, graduation, prom night.

Three years later, his friends
gather in an early April drizzle, each
clinging to the string of a helium balloon.
Mine is red, my son's is green,
Joel's Mom's is blue.

When the eulogy ends, we let them go,
bleeding all color from Ohio
into a polka dot sky.
I guess I'll always see
those damn balloons

and his smile in my mind until
the sky dons a polka dot rainbow
for me.
I hug my son, afraid to let go,
afraid he'll float away.



Conception, by Ron Domen ( I shortened this one a little because it's very long )

It is important to know the stories
that surround our conception.
But leave out the part about the hormone
surge that expands the cumulus cells
surround the zona pellucida
and prepares the egg for fertilization.
I would rather know if there was passionate
love-making in the back seat of a Ford
at a drive-in movie the rolled up windows
made opaque from your steamy breaths.

And don't go into detail how sperm
must fight their way through fibrous
macromolecules in cervical mucus
to get to fallopian tube fimbria
where the egg awaits fertilization.
Tell me about the gibbous moon
that rose above the swell of waves
on your honeymoon beach
and like sea turtles hatching
out of the sand and making their way
back to salt water I too
started my journey there on the sand.



Another Found Poem, by John A. Vanek

Christmas lights of red and green
twinkle on the monitor,
flash pulse and pressure, proclaim
the baby in this crib will live
for now.

My gloved hand hovers above the only vein
on his hairless scalp, 'til the butterfly
needle finds courage to land,
and I tape the tube to sallow skin
that wants to tear away.

Blue fingers fist with the whoosh
of each breath, as bellows fan
this fading ember--a warm blanket
and a mother's sleepless song,
gifts for the newborn child.

She huddles with her husband as if cold,
his blue blazer now her shawl, limbs and lives
entwined, nestled forehead to forehead,
exchanging a dialysis
of toxic hope.

I want nothing more
than the sleep of a silent night
filled with dreams of places
other than here, heedless
of her cradlesong.

In this strawless manger of sorrow,
below a fluorescent star, I wonder
how to tell this couple
the baby they never could bear
will be gone by New Year's.

I fiddle with knobs, gauge
how much they understand,
snatch glances meant for each other,
stare at my blood-spattered shoes, then
tell them--

and all is lost
but these words
and the haunting hum
of a mother's
never-ending lullaby.

alma mater

I can now officially say that I have a college alma mater. Crazy.

Today I was over at a friends house, mainly because she has air conditioning and I don't. So during these 90-degree heat waves, it seems like the perfect time to hang out at her place. Anyway, she was at work and I was rather bored so I decided to go for a walk on campus. I love my campus, I really do. It doesn't seem real that I won't be coming back here for classes in the fall. I wish I wouldn't have taken my college career for granted while I was here. I wish I would have actually studied because I studied this past year, and I LIKED it. I wish I would have spent more time doing college-associated things on campus. So many wishes...

I may be a huge creep once classes start and walk around with a backpack on pretending like I'm supposed to be there. Maybe sit in on a few classes.

This post is now overly nostalgic and creepy. Enough.

things i hate

1) This heat. This weather is absolutely ridiculous. Last night at 2a I could not fall asleep for the life of me, despite the fact that I had to be up for work in 6 hours. Why you ask? It is so godawful hot in my apartment that it is impossible to fall asleep. It's just uncomfortable. It reminds me of being in Morocco during 100D weather with no fan and no window in my bedroom. Not to mention that I don't have air conditioning and I constantly have 2 fans running, so my electric bill is going to be astronomical.

2) Old people. Actually, I should elaborate -- old people DRIVING. Don't get me wrong, I love old people. Really, I do. If you know anything about me, it's that I tend to ogle the elderly when they are holding hands, dancing, eating by themselves, etc. I would love to volunteer in a home, but its kind of pointless now since I may be moving in the next month or so. Anyway, back to what I hate about them. At some point old people shouldn't be driving. Honestly it's just dangerous for them and everyone else on the road. I understand that it may be taking away from their independence, but wouldn't it be worse for them to get in an accident??

Yesterday I was leaving the grocery store and I was pulling out of my spot. I was 3/4 out of my spot when the truck behind me, without looking, started to pull out of his spot too. So I honked my horn. The driver happened to be a really old man who couldn't hear that I was honking. I was laying on my horn and he just kept backing up. I hurriedly pulled back into my spot to avoid an unnecessary fender-bender in the parking lot of Jewel.

3) Grocery store checkout lanes. (this trip to the grocery store yesterday was particularly traumatizing) The store has 15 checkout lanes AND ONLY THREE ARE OPEN. I would just head over to the self-checkout lane, but there are at least a million people in that line. It's so annoying. Jewel, can't you just pay a few more people minimum wage and open up a few more lanes? It won't kill you. But your lack of checkout efficiency might kill me.

4 more hours

In an attempt to avoid work it's time for another post.

Sometimes I take for granted how amazing my job is. Example: last night Jen, Hannah Duffy and I went out to some local bars. We got home around 3 or so. I set my alarm for 9a because I needed to be to work around 930a. However, this morning I was so tired that I finally dragged myself to work around 11a. True to character, my boss DIDN'T CARE. I love her. She never cares about my work schedule as long as I'm getting my work done. I definitely need to send her a thank you card once I leave this place.

Yesterday I went on a lunch date with a guy I met at Lalo's. I thought he was attractive, so I left my number and name on our reciept (mostly for fun). Surprisingly enough, he texted me the next day! He's so dorky and quirky, but in a good way. Then last night when he got off work he met us girls our for drinks. He wasn't very fun while we were out though. I'm not sure how I feel about him -- obviously not meant to be. But it's always nice to go on a date every once in a while right?

Adios...time to get back to that job thing.

Lethargic

It has been way too long since I have posted something on here. So (while avoiding work as much as possible), I thought I would sum up my summer adventures so far.

Most days I am lethargic, to say the least. I generally wake up anytime between 11 and 2, watch Ellen, layout, read, eat, and hang out with friends at night. I think most of my days are purely the definition of summer, aka doing a whole lot of nothing. There are only a few days a week when I have to work, but Saturdays through Tuedays are spent doing nada.

Recently there was an amazing She&Him concert (fo free!) in Mill park. A bunch of us went, picnic-ed, laid in the grass, and danced around to the music. It was definitely an eclectic mix of people; for example, a man wearing a skirt.

My fav pic from the day:

sinus

I'm on the plane back to Chicago from Boulder and I have so much pressure in my nose and glands for some reason. I think I might die. (BTW has anyone ever tried a Nettypot? sp? I think I might get one when I get off this godawful plane ride and seem if it helps.) So, in an attempt to take my mind off of it, I am going to recap the legendary weekend I just spent with moroccan friends via my iPod.

The first thing we did when we got off the plane was went to the liquor store to stock up for the weekend. Our Friday night was amazing to say the least. We pregamed a little, got ready, and went out to the bars. Started off the night with carbombs at this Irish pub called O'Conners. Gordy, a friend from my high school days, joined us; an amazing addition. I don't really want to get into the gory details of the rest of this night but here are the highlights: Irish carbombs, round midnight (the bar), kissing on a bus, cops, yelling at strangers, a trash can, and much more. Perfection?

Oh my, the pressure.

Let's just say Saturday was....rough. We finally woke up around noon and the subsequent 5 hours were spent laying on the couches, watching Bring it On, annihilating an entire pizza, a large dose of Jeopardy, and complaining about our conditions. We finally stripped ourselves off the couches when our friend Evan invited us out for sushi. We got up to take showers, however, that was quickly put aside when we realized Sarah's ID was nowhere to be found. Not only did we want to go out that night, but Sarah was supposed to be flying home the next day with no other forms of identification. At one point Sarah was on the phone with TSA while Alex and I ripped through his room trying to find it. The last time we had seen it was when a certain someone (Sarah) handed it to a cop who had pulled over to investigate. Regardless, Alex thankfully found it under his hamper. How it got there? No idea.

Pressure, pushing down on me, pushing down on me....

The sushi was orgasmic. Literally. I ordered a multiple orgasm roll which was delish. Other rolls ordered included: foreplay roll, climax roll, the regular orgasm roll, 69 roll, etc. BEST SUSHI EVER. The rest of this chill night was spent drinking beers, playing darts on state-themed teams, and meeting the infamous Bryan Browne. Post-bars Evan, Alex, and I went and got gyros from a little stand in the main square. Those were amazing as well and almost better than the sushi we gorged ourselves on earlier. While eating our gyros, we also got to witness an older, drunk man (maybe 60 or 70?) picking fights with drunk 20yr olds. To each their own, old man. Then, driving home Evan asked, "hey you guys want to do doughnus in the parking lot?"....Yes. We did doughnuts for a good 30 minutes. Alex and I had our heads hanging out the window and snow was pouring into the car. I think there may have been more snow in the car than outside, but whatevs. Worth it. We went home for another round, called our mutual friend John, and went to bed around 5am.

The next morning we woke up a little later than we wanted to. Shocking. Alex and I went and scooped up Sarah then headed out for some bloodymary's and cheeseburgers. Perfection for the morning after.

Whew, we just landed and the pressure is dunzo! Thank God. Well, this must be a sign anyway because this post was getting a little long. Needless to say, the weekend was epic. One for the books and hopefully repeated many times to come.

peace

I am so at peace with my life right now. God could not have possibly blessed my life in many more ways; I am thankful beyond what I can even fathom. Today I got mad because the airline made me pay 20 dollars to check my luggage and I had to go through security twice. How can I be mad about something so trite when Haitians are without food, water, and are mourning over their loved ones that are dying before their eyes and there's nothing they can do about it? So, sitting on this plane listening to my awesome airport mix, I can't help but feel a new respect and love for the amazing life I lead. As lame as this may sound I hope everyone reading this can feel the same peace and hope for their life as I feel about mine right now. I am content; I am free.

Numero Uno

Sometimes I wonder whether or not the seemingly eccentric occurences of my life are only hilarious in my perspective or if my life affairs are truly abnormal. Regardless, this blog is dedicated to the ludicrous, bizarre, and mostly mundane events of my early 20's. Take it or leave it, this is my life. Welcome.